Banish the midlife crisis and choose happiness

Fiona, career and confidence coach from Inspired Coaching, gives her top tips on how to lead a more fulfilling life by saying “yes” to something new.

 “Find a way to say yes to things. Say yes to invitations to a new country, say yes to meet new friends, say yes to learn something new. Even if it's a bit edgy, a bit out of your comfort zone, saying yes means that you will do something new, meet someone new, and make a difference. Yes is what keeps us all young. ” Eric Schmidt

This powerful speech was given by Eric Schmidt, Chairman of Google, to the graduating Class of 2012 of Berkeley University.  Just hearing his wise words, transports you back to your 21 year-old self and the sense of excitement and anticipation you felt with the world at your feet.  The opportunities seemed boundless, so many different paths to take, new places to go and people to meet. 

Recapture your zest for life

Unfortunately for many of us, somewhere between then and now, we start losing that thirst for knowledge and search for adventure.  Before you know it, the responsibilities of a mortgage, job, bills and kids can mean that a two week trip to Cornwall in a caravan is about as adventurous an undertaking as you can bear!

So how do we banish the midlife crisis, recapture the dreams and aspirations of our youth and “say yes to learning something new”? 

Write a bucket list

So writing out a list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket may seem a little macabre to some people but it’s a great way of focusing on what you feel passionate about.  Have you always longed to ride a camel in Egypt, go on a road trip from coast to coast or drink vodka in Russia?  Not all your goals have to involve spending lots of money, do you want to have a mud flight, walk barefoot in the rain, write your own book or learn the piano – let your imagination go wild.  If you are lacking some inspiration visit www.bucketlist.org which has over 10,000 ideas, it also lets you set your own goals and track your success.

Move out of your comfort zone

As we get older, it’s easy to get stuck in your ways and stay in your comfort zone.  Things we took in our stride when we were younger, can now seem daunting and overwhelming.  But as Schmidt says trying new things keeps you young, so don’t be afraid to challenge yourself.  You can start small – you may secretly dream of running the London Marathon, but you could start of with a local 5k run to build your confidence.  Once you’ve moved out of your comfort zone you’ll enjoy the sense of fulfillment and empowerment that it brings.

Make trying something new a habit

It’s often easier to come up with excuses why you can’t do something than actually saying yes.  So often I hear my clients saying “I don’t have time to do that” or “I feel guilty focusing on myself.” So many parents wouldn’t question spending money on their children’s activities but feel guilty doing the same on themselves.  Get into the habit of saying yes and prioritising your own needs. This will not only boost your feeling of self worth, it will give you a sense of identity as an individual not just as someone’s mum or dad.

So, where was I with my list…. swimming with dolphins, learning to meditate, jumping into a pool fully clothed………what’s on your bucket list this summer?  

If you are looking for a greater sense of fulfillment in your life, or for any career and confidence coaching needs, please contact fiona@inspiredcoaching.co.uk.

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